Ready or Not for Change

While grabbing a hot drink from Lakewinds Co-op a couple weeks ago I noticed a new product on the counter.  I asked the Barista what it was and if it was any good. Apparently it's a coconut butter product you add to coffee. She informed me that it was very tasty, and she really liked the vanilla but..."I'm not ready to give up sugar, so I can't use it".
I must have given her a quizzical look as she proceeded to tell me that it's for keto people and that since she still eats sugar she shouldn't use it.  I responded, "do you think if you did use it, it might help with your sugar cravings?"  
Barista, "Maybe, but I'm not ready to give up sugar."
As I left the counter I thought, "What you're really saying is I don't want to give up sugar." I was also reminded of the late Charles Poliquin who would have said that she is still prioritizing her taste buds over whatever physical change she wants to see by giving up sugar.  To some extent I would agree. But I posed the scenario to two RD friends as well Ryan and here is what they  all said.
My friend Katie of the Best You Plan would ask you, "What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failing yet again...another diet?"  She has seen this with many women.  Just the mention of "giving up" a food, sugar or processed carbs in particular seems to elicit a look of terror in many of their eyes.  While at a networking event, she had women refuse to take her business card after they learned what her program is about.

My friend Lucy from Well Balanced Nutrition would ask you, "What do you mean give up sugar? Are you a moderator being asked to abstain? Is this a temporary or permanent change you are trying to make? Why do you want to give it up, what is the benefit?"

My husband Ryan asked "what are you doing to be/get ready?"

So this coming year, before you make another I'm going to (lose weight, get healthy, exercise, give up _____) resolution maybe you need to ask yourself a few questions first:
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1. What change do I want to make and WHY? If you're why isn't good enough, you will never be 'ready' and the changes will never stick.  I have found that losing weight for the sake of weight loss is never a good enough why. Focusing on a health benefit such as less joint pain, or better digestion are typically better motivators.
2. Is this a change YOU WANT to make for YOU? Or is it something you think you SHOULD do, or feel guilted into doing?  Shame is never a good motivator.
3. What is holding you back from starting now? Why have you waited?
4. What are you afraid of? Failure? Judgement? Struggling? Hunger? Being alone?
5. Are you making excuses and putting off making the change? Or is your reason for not starting valid? Excuse: it's the holiday season so it will be too hard. (Truth: there is always a holiday, birthday, vacation, or other event)  Valid reason: Your parent just died, you just had a baby, your house flooded or burned down. (Truth: high stress times, especially when coupled with sleep deprivation are not the time to make a major change. Wait a few weeks or months until the clouds pass and you are sleeping to tackle your change.)
6. Who will support you vs Who will derail you? Are you willing to spend less time with those who will derail your efforts? I know many people who have given up friendships, cut ties with family, and gone through divorces in the name of health & happiness. It may seem extreme, but we only get one life, so why surround yourself with negative people.  Also, the reason many people consciously or unconsciously sabotage other's efforts is because of their own fear and insecurity.  "If they change, then I have to change... change is hard, and I'm scared of failing if they succeed. I'm not ready!  I should buy them a box of their favorite cookies." 

What are you willing/wanting/ready to change?